Thursday, February 7, 2008

Letterman: Top 10 Signs John McCain is getting too cocky

**Update** McCain certainly has reason to be cocky today, as Mitt Romney suspended his presidential campaign. In the words of Ferris Bueller: "Are you still here? It's over."

Top Ten Signs John McCain Is Getting Too Cocky

10. Canceled tomorrow's campaign appearances so he doesn't miss "Lost"

9. Spent the afternoon roughing up Romney supporters

8. Last night, he blew half campaign war chest playing internet poker

7. Already working on his 2012 re-election strategy

6. Plans to campaign for the next three days in "Vodkachusetts"

5. Recently told voter "Keep that ugly ass baby away from me"

4. Now refers to Mike Huckabee as "Mike Suckabee"

3. Has started yelling, "Bingo!" when he doesn't even have bingo (come on, folks, he's old!)

2. Renamed his campaign bus the "Bite Me Express"

1. Went to Mexico with Jessica Simpson

And on the Late Show Website, they provide these additional entries that make didn't make the cut:

· Already standing in front of White House yelling at kids to get off his lawn

· Yesterday in Arizona, invited press to watch him vote three times

· The new "Commander-in-Chief" tattoo on his ass

· He's taking a break from campaigning to tour with Hannah Montana

· Taking time off from campaign so he can compete on 'American Gladiators'

· Ends every speech by daring guys to come up and fight him

· Telling everyone to call him by his rap name: McDiddy

· "Straight Talk Express" now has stripper pole

· Devoting all his campaign money to the primary in Oaxaca

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