Letterman: Top 10 Ralph Nader Campaign Slogans

I tried my hand at this topic last week. Here's Letterman's...

Top 10 Ralph Nader Campaign Solgans

10. Fund universal health care by making Wesley Snipes pay his taxes

9. Give the presidency a rumpled, Walter Matthau quality

8. The freezing over of Hell should solve our global warming crisis

7. Get those people off that island in "Lost"

6. Send Gary Busey in to annoy and confuse our enemies

5. Can fill out a pantsuit better than Hillary

4. Will hover in polls between 1% and "Statistically Insignificant"

3. Force Starbucks to identify their sizes "Small," "Medium," and "Large" -- am I right people?

2. Will not sleep with lobbyists, or for that matter anyone else

1. Get Bush re-elected like in 2000

Unsafe in any Race?

In an announcement that set eyes rolling across the country, Ralph Nader, 74, said he is running for President on Meet the Press today.

This is the third consecutive White House run for the man who won 2.7% of the vote as a Green Party candidate in 2000, and is largely blamed for siphoning votes from Al Gore, leading to the George Bush presidency we all enjoy today. Four years ago, Nader was unable to get the Green Party nomination, and ran as an independent. He didn't get his name on the ballot in every state and received just 0.4% of the vote.

We at SAM would like to do our part for Mr. Nader's campaign, and so we've devised a few slogans that we think really cut to the heart of his candidacy:

No, we can't... but let's try anyway.

Because that McCain just ain't old enough!

Now, less than ever.

Because there can't be an "Unflinching vanity project" without "U"!

What's a US presidential election without two crotchety old white guys?!?

You Republicans owe me one