Tuesday, August 21, 2007

America's Team: The All- Presidential Coach & 6th Man


Time to finish up the All Presidential Team.

Coach

For our team's coach we want someone with experience. The best coaches are the ones who have been there, but are stopped from competing at the highest level by extenuating circumstances like age, size, or talent. So we'll go with a great American president who would be unable to compete on our basketball team because of a disability. Franklin Delano Roosevelt was an officer in the Navy, but was crippled by Polio as president.

His leadership saw our country through the Depression and the Second World War, and we're betting he could see our team through its tough times as coach. The guy knows strategy, knows how to bring a team together, and knows how to defeat an opponent. He also had by far the most experience as president, and stayed on a little past his prime (the hallmark of many great coaches). Yup, he's the perfect fit.

FDR's stats:

32nd President (1933-1945)
Height: 6' 1"
School: Harvard (3 of our 7 spots are taken by Harvard undergrads; 6 US presidents went to Harvard undergrad)
Party: Democrat

6th Man

For those of you who don't know, basketball's 6th man is the guy off the bench who is brought in to provide a spark to the team. In many cases he's as good (if not better) than some of the starters, but for some reason just performs better as a substitute. He's best when called upon to fill in for a starter, when a star player goes down the 6th man steps in and doesn't miss a beat.

That's why America's Team is rounded out with Harry Truman as our 6th man. Truman succeeded FDR in 1945, and was constantly underestimated by the media and the public.

Truman came to power basically by accident. FDR wanted to run for an unheard of 4th term, but needed the support of Congress to do so. In return, Congress demanded to handpick FDR's vice president. Truman was the only name they could agree on- basically because he was so unknown. He was called "average" Harry, because of his height and because he didn't go to college (he couldn't see well enough for West Point and was too poor for other schools). Truman was a product of a St. Louis political machine, meaning he was a shill for interested parties in the city. In fact, he's probably the most successful shill in US history.

Yet when Truman got into office, he showed the guts and smarts of a great president. Truman was brought off the bench, and stepped into the spotlight like a champ. Today he's revered for his decisiveness and foresight.

Harry S (his middle name was the letter only) Truman's stats:

33rd President (1945- 1953)
Height: 5' 8"
School: William Chrisman High School
Party: Democrat

So there we have it. Here's America's Team:

Point Guard: George Washington
Shooting Guard: John Kennedy
Small Forward: Teddy Roosevelt
Power Forward:Lyndon Johnson
Center: Abraham Lincoln
Coach: Franklin Roosevelt
6th man: Harry Truman

2 comments:

Unknown said...

was it not because truman was short and they already had a point guard?

C. P. Coleta said...

Truman as sixth man. Now that's an ingenious pick, Jason Blair. And I like how you named the movie after my movie "Team America". What's your next subject, best German dictators?