Recap: Republican Debate

Didn't watch tonight's Republican Debate? You're not alone (I didn't either, but I did watch Leno), but don't worry SAM's here to recap what went down...and what didn't (try to guess which is which).

- Rudy did the second half dressed in drag.

- When asked about his tenuous situation with his immediate family (his 2nd wife hates him, he doesn't speak with his son, his daughter publicly supports Obama) Giuliani gave an honest answer, according to Mark McCurry of NBC, "He answered this question by discussing 1) that private is different from the public and 2) that -- like many Americans -- he isn't perfect when it comes to family. 'I am not running as the perfect candidate for president,' he said. 'I am running as a human being.'"

- McCain, desparate for attention, did the second half of the debate completely naked.

- McCain harped on a theme of fiscal responsibility. He did not take a pledge not to raise taxes, but rather railed against pork spending, deficits, and unfair earmarks. To be fair, pork spending is completely out of hand, reform is long overdue, and it's only getting worse. But come on. We're at war. People are terrified of a looming recession. Terrified of al Qaeda. Terrified of China. McCain's got to get back in this thing... is pork going to get it done???

- Out of nowhere, the Law and Order "doink doink" sound echoed through the auditorium and Fred Thompson appeared standing 10 feet tall in the middle of the other candidates. The crowd was silent, and Fred bellowed "It's feeding time" and swallowed Sam Brownback whole.

- Fred didn't show, but told Jay Leno "I am running for president," just before critiquing the debate process and reminding voters how early in the campaign it is. And he's right on both counts, incidentally.

- Giuliani gave a heads up to Democrats who hope to run against him in 2012 when he said: "It is my intention to lower taxes." Not exactly a "read my lips" moment, but it was close...

- When asked by Leno if he was for the war when it began, Thompson said he was. In his answer, Thompson sought to remind Americans that if we hadn't gone to do what we did "Saddam would be continuing his nuclear weapons program."

- Upon hearing that answer I shouted at the television "WHAT NUCLEAR WEAPONS PROGRAM?" and my head exploded