Top Ten Questions on the Barack Obama Running Mate Application
10. "How much experience do you have doing nothing?"
9. "Do you have any crazy clergymen we should know about?"
8. "Will you help your oil company buddies achieve record profits by screwing consumers?"
7. "How many friends do you have on Facebook?"
6. "Can your charisma and vitality match the high standard set by Dick Cheney?"
5. "Do you see yourself as more of an Al Gore blowhard or a Dan Quayle boob?"
4. "Do you think the Yankees should move Joba back to bullpen?"
3. "Any idea what happened on the season finale of 'Lost'?"
2. "Ever slept with Barbara Walters?"
1. "By any chance do you know where Osama bin Laden is?"
Top 10 Messages Left on Barack Obama's Answering Machine
10. "It's Eliot Spitzer - let's get some girls and celebrate!"
9. "John McCain here, I...crap, I forgot why I called"
8. "This is Al Gore, don't make the same mistake I did and win the popular vote"
7. "It's John McCain again. What is this some kind of machine that answers the phone?"
6. "This is John Kerry; are you interested in a subscription to 'Sports Illustrated'?"
5. "You've just made a powerful enemy of The Pantsuit Manufacturers of America"
4. "It's Randy Jackson. Your last speech? Little pitchy, dawg"
3. "Mitt Romney here. Have you thought about switching conditioners?"
2. "Hillary calling; I'm still prepared to offer you the Vice President position"
1. "Oprah here; I helped you get the nomination now will you help me get rid of Dr. Phil"