Tuesday, September 16, 2008

The Sad Saga

I've been asked to stop posting for a while by my employer, but happily, that doesn't mean I have to stop altogether. Because, every year around this time, I'll work in some non-political posts about my favorite team's collapse in the baseball standings. This year is no different, except I'm going to use to words of blogger David Lozo.

His post is decent, but it's the picture at the top that gets me.

The Sad, Sad Saga of Your Average N.Y. Mets Fan

There is nothing funnier yet, at the same time, sadder than a New York Mets fan. It’s like watching a six-car pileup where everyone dies, but everyone is dressed as Star Wars characters, so part of you laughs. But mostly, you feel bad for these desperate fools who have a harder time staying on an even keel than a meth addict.

Ever since the Mets had a seven-game lead with 17 games to play in 2007, I have been conducting a study of the New York Mets fan. I have charted emotions for close to a full year now, and I think it’s time to reveal my findings. What follows is a recounting of the emotional highs and lows of Mets fans for the last 350 days or so.

Sept. 12, 2007: “Dude, we’re seven games up. I can’t wait for the playoffs. We’re going to avenge that loss to the Cardinals and win the World Series. Willie Randolph has been superb and Tom Glavine really should get his option picked up.”

Sept. 30, 2007: “I hope Tom Glavine dies. Clearly he was a double agent for the Braves. Seven runs in an inning? I hate the Mets. We should fire Willie and start fresh.’

Jan. 30, 2008: “We traded for Johan Santana? Noooooo. Get out! That’s awesome! That guarantees us the NL East, and at worst a World Series trip. What a deal! Omar is a genius! Willie’s going to get us there!”

April 29, 2008: “I know Billy Wagner blew the save because of the error, but I don’t trust that guy.”

May 6, 2008: “Why does Carlos Delgado see the field? Can’t that guy retire already?”

May 26, 2008: “Please fire Willie already. This Mike Pelfrey character is a complete bust.”

May 29, 2008: “It’s not like it’s Willie’s fault.”

June 10, 2008: “OK, Willie needs to go.”

June 13, 2008: “Seriously, I hope we get someone for Delgado next season.”

June 16, 2008, 2:30 a.m.: “You know, I think Willie’s got this thing figured out

June 16, 2008, 3:45 a.m.: “Good riddance. Willie was killing us.”

June 24, 2008: “Jerry Manuel isn’t making things better.”

July 4, 2008: “Johan Santana just is not a big-game pitcher. He can’t finish what he
starts. Such a bum.”

July 6, 2008: “I know we’re 3.5 out with 74 games to go, but this team is done. No chance.”

July 17, 2008: “What a great move by the Mets to put Manuel in charge. I think a World Series is a real possibility now.”

July 19, 2008: “We can’t even beat the Reds. How can we possibly win the division?”

July 20, 2008: “If Wagner is done, we are screwed. That guy is lights out.”

July 25, 2008: “Mike Pelfrey should be getting some consideration for the Cy Young.”

August 3, 2008: “We are so done.”

August 10, 2008: “Mike Pelfrey better not be on the postseason roster.”

August 17, 2008: “If my neighbors think I’m loud now, just wait till they hear me when the Mets are playing in October.”

August 24, 2008: “We’re not going anywhere with this bullpen.”

Sept. 1, 2008: “Carlos Delgado is the NL MVP.”

Sept. 2, 2008: “This Luis Ayala guy is pretty awesome. He can close for us in the playoffs.”

Sept. 5, 2008: “We’re going to choke away the division again.”

Sept. 6, 2008: “I never said they were going to the World Series.”

Sept. 7, 2008, 4:45 p.m.: “We’re so done. Fire everyone.”

Sept. 7, 2008, 11:30 p.m.: “Johan Santana is a big-game pitcher. We’re going all the way.”

Sept. 10, 2008: “Hey, can I take off a few days in October? No one has off the day of Game 7 of the World Series, and I want to make sure I can watch it.”

This morning: “Our bullpen is a nightmare. I hope they miss the playoffs. Just give the division to the Phillies.”

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