Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Flip-Flops, All for the Price of an Oval Office

Mom: So since when do the Republicans care about women?

Me: What?  What do you mean?

Mom: Well, they seem to care a lot about women and I thought they never wanted women outside of the home.

And thus is the new political order of the day.  A universe where a casual observer, like my mom - citizen since '72 (ah, '72), can be confounded by a seismic shift in GOP talking points: feminism.  Yes, faux-feminism is the new Black, and the designer is Senator John McCain.  He tailors his chic centrism in a flowering couture of social conservatism being fiercely worn by none other than Alaska's great governor, Sarah Palin.  Holy wow!

It's the Democrats who are keeping that glass ceiling in place.  It's the Democrats who don't want women to progress.  Yes, it's the Democrats who want to return to 1918.  The party of Eleanor Roosevelt has turned into the party of Rush Limbaugh, only Rush doesn't want any part of it because he's a feminist now.  

That's right, folks: To want Sarah Palin to win the Vice Presidancy is to be for Women's Rights.  It's to be for a woman to have the right to have government deny her the right to choose an abortion.  It's to be for women having the right to not have the explicit right to fight side-by-side with men in combat.  It's to be for women having the right to be punished for working and having a child - at the same time, no less.  It's to be for our future.

Sarah Palin wanted to ban books from her local library, wants to be the special announcer at next year's Summer Slam when Creationism and Evolution meet, and once vied for round three at Bull Run while she was part of a small secessionist movement ("small" is relative, because nothing but the landscape's big in Alaska - it just ain't Texas).  These are all things that are as American as moose murder, and women should be ashamed if they're not proud of this.  Every women needs to learn to cross check, because Sarah Palin took her shots from the goons of all shapes and sizes for The Cause.  Every lady needs to learn to not plan their pregnancies, because Sarah Palin has five kids, will have five more, and will pass legislation making it legal to give birth well past menopause - God's willing notwithstanding.

James - that narrow-minded, right-wing chauvinist - Carville wrote an incendiary piece in the Financial Times, that bastion of Female Oppression, about how Mr. McCain has affected his party with the Sarah Palin nomination.  Read it not to see how the GOP has given up national security as their centerpiece.  Read it not to learn how flip-flopping is only flip-flopping if you're a former liberal like John F Kerredy - I mean Kerry.  Read it to see what America's up against:  Barack Obama's Islamist change, one that we just can't afford (because utility prices are insane!)

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